Celebration: Letting Go, A Self-Help Therapy

Pride

This week I turned in one of the worst stories I have ever written. It may not be the absolute worst, but it is pretty bad. And it is a testament that I cannot write well when I am stressed. (It took me nearly one full day of shirking responsibilities and letting myself play before I was ready to write the last story for my Literary Journalism class. A story that is shaping up to be one of the better stories I have ever written. Kudos, me. Kudos.) When it came time to hand over that mangled little story to my fellow fiction writers I nearly couldn’t stand to do it, but I managed to let go of my pride (and that stack of papers) by reminding myself that whatever critiques come back to me next Thursday will help me learn (if I let them.)

Blogging my Blog

You may have noticed that for the past couple weeks my blog has lain dormant, abandoned, lonely. And it probably will do it again for the next couple weeks. I admit that I have become sucked into the addictive world of blogs and it can be hard sometimes not to push some of my responsibilities aside in order to take time to write posts, but when I get as busy as I am right now, something has got to go. And this time that thing is my blog.

Other People’s Blogs

For the same reason that my blog has been set aside, I have not been able to follow the blogs of all the interesting people I know. This, I think, is much sadder than shirking my own blog. I feel slightly detached from my friends and family. It’s funny that blogs have become my main contact with (way of stalking) my friends. I will be back, friends. My comments will spam your blogs again soon.

 Other People’s Ideals for Life

I think for most of my life I have tried to live up to the ideals that have been set out by other people. I’ve talked a lot about wanting to live for myself but I always feared that if I didn’t fulfill other people’s expectations I would one day find I had failed at my life. This week I think I finally got a clear view of what I want, unmitigated by the ideals of others. I don’t know if this clarity will last, but it is one of the absolute best feelings I have ever experienced. Some day maybe I’ll expound on all these thoughts. Unfortunately I don’t have the time now.    

Letting go is a very therapeutic process, especially when you’re so stressed to the max that your temples throb and your throat feels like it is turning into granite. Of course, I don’t think we should let go of everything. For instance, I plan to hold on pretty tightly to Jordan. Also, my family and my friends. And my favorite jewelry and accessories, and my favorite shirts, and my favorite shorts, and my favorite skirts, and my favorite dresses, and my tights, and my shoes, and my really pretty knitting needles, and my adorable fancy dishware, and all of our books, and this laptop, and the light-up mouse that goes with it, and our car. And if we ever have the money to buy the bikes I want, I’ll hold onto those too...